Ask XY: Moving In. When & Why?

Ask XY

When do you move in with a girl/significant other? What would/did determine your timeline?

Mr. W – Basically, if you have intentions in marrying the woman, that’s when moving in should be considered.  Or else, you’re missing the point.

Mr. X – When it feels right. That’s it. When you come to the realization that every room is now a shared space (and that pants will have to be worn more frequently), and accept that while privacy is not completely abolished it is also no longer a given. Can you spend hours with this person, potentially not doing one thing or another in particular, and still feel like you’re not a wolf looking to gnaw its own arm off to escape? Does this other person get along with your friends and vice versa? If not, it’s going to be much harder to keep those spheres separate between the parties, cookouts, and general hang-outs. It’s also good to make sure you and your partner are fine with realizing that now that you will be living together, giving each other a little time to their own devices is a healthy and necessary key to keeping the relationship and household feeling comfy without feeling like you’re Siamese twins.

Mr. Y – Depends on the woman and if it makes fiscal sense. I think it’s best to have your own space though, like tigers. You can’t keep the male tiger with the female tigers all the time, the male tiger will just go crazy and jump the fence and murder a bunch of people. And that’s the philosophy I try to live my life by. Tigers.

Mr. Z – I moved in with my current girlfriend fairly early into our relationship.  I think it depends on the specific conditions.  I needed desperately to get out of my lease and moving in with her just seemed to be the right decision.  It’s worked out pretty well, we’re compatible as roommates.  I’d say give it a try of a few days or so, see if where she puts her bathroom stuff bugs you.  If there’s anything to settle, do it before you commit to a lease or a mortgage.


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