Single in La La Land – Part One

Single and Settling Down

Part One: Background

Hello, my name is Tosha and I am a single woman living in Los Angeles. (Say it together, “Hi Toshaaaaaaa“)

Being single, all of my friends, colleagues, and even casual acquaintances are constantly trying to set me up. I am absolutely ready for a relationship – that’s no secret, but I am not desperate by any means. What that means is that I have my eyes and heart open for the possibility of meeting a guy. But I will not settle. My father says i’m too picky and you know what – I think I should be! I plan to be married one time. ONCE. period.

I have never been one of those girls who cannot survive out of a relationship. Ever since a four-year relationship ended  in college, I have been “dating” but I have not found a man who has earned the title of “boyfriend”.  There have been some guys I have seen more than a couple of times and others who lasted only one date, but that’s because there was always something missing. No spark. No butterflies. No vision of a future with those men. I want that. I know it’s out there…and I will wait. I’m not saying I am always patient with it. There are times when I am absolutely fine being single and revel in my independence. Then there are other times when the “I wanna boyfriend” syndrome starts to creep up and pollute my brain -usually after a sappy movie or another high school friend announces an engagement or pregnancy.

Here’s my truth. I’m 27 years old and scared that I won’t EVER find Mr. Right. I know i’m not the only late 20-something, 30-something woman who feels that way. When I was younger, I definitely thought I would be married by my age. Shoot – way sooner than 27! I want to be married and I want to have children. I just don’t know when that’s going to happen. 

So there it is. Part one of being single in Los Angeles. I wanted to give you a little background before venturing into the many humorous and sometimes depressing stories that come with singledom. I have much more to write, including FAQ’s (I’m sure my fellow single peeps could spout off a couple of these without hestitation), my experience with online dating, flack from family and friends, and more.




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Categories: Ladies Confess, Lady Talk Forum, Relationships/Dating, Spill It: Confessions, Welcome!


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10 Comments on “Single in La La Land – Part One”

  1. February 15, 2013 at 8:24 am #

    Thanks for sharing your experience, I think it’s important for us girls to remember to be patient. The only thing worse than feeling lonely, is being with people who make you feel lonely. You will find Mr. Right someday, and appreciate him all the more. 🙂

    • kateginnivan
      February 15, 2013 at 2:17 pm #

      Bang on, lycly. Single miserable is way less miserable than coupledom miserable…

  2. sheargeniousfashioneasta
    February 15, 2013 at 9:04 am #

    No hurry, no worry. If and when it’s meant to happen it will. May not be how, when or where you planned it or didn’t plan it. Everything happens for a reason and when the time is right! And when the time is right….you will just know. Your heart will lead the way. No red flags, no settling, no confussion or chaos. It will just smoothly work out. Xo. Smiles…

  3. February 15, 2013 at 12:15 pm #

    Its so true! Im going to be 29 this year and I met my boyfriend when I stopped looking. I know that everyone probably tells you that ” when you know, you know” and I used to think that was a load of BS but its so true. Its always worth the wait! For the record I’m not married yet either and thought I would be for sure by the time I was 25. Lots of time for that part of your life! TRUST ME!

  4. kateginnivan
    February 15, 2013 at 2:16 pm #

    I hear you! Maybe you want to check out my post: Top Tips For Potential Love Interests. In a nutshell, it is about the some of the disasters I have endured in the dating world in my quest for Mr. Right. I’m a Melbourne girl. We are suffering a serious man-drought. I agree with you 100 per cent – we should not settle. It is a recipe for misery.
    I really enjoyed your post. 🙂

  5. February 16, 2013 at 1:03 am #

    I’m almost 37 and am happy being single. I have wonderful friends in my life, most of whom are male. Although I am dating one of them, There is no commitment beyond being best friends who love each other. And I am okay with that. I went so many years assuming that there must be something wrong with me if I am single. I have come to the conclusion that some of us are meant to be that way. I have great respect for those who can be in a relationship, get married and have children. I will never have children, and I love the relationships I am in, even if people wouldn’t consider them the traditional two people marriage-type relationships.

    I wish others respected my decisions as to who and what I want in my life as much as I respect theirs. So to me, it all comes down to making the decision for yourself as to whether you want to keep looking. If you do, the best of luck to you and I hope that you find just the right person for you.

  6. February 16, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

    Oh my goodness. This. I needed it! I’m pretty much always single. Don’t get me wrong, I do revel in independence and, most of the time, am happy flying solo. But, when most people around you are in a relationship or marital bliss (two of my best best best friends are engaged), being single can be a bit of a downer. Cheers to us finding our Mr. Rights!

  7. February 17, 2013 at 10:37 am #

    I am so excited to read more of these posts, Tosha! Good for you. I know the scary feeling of life not going the way you imagined. Twenty-five was my scary year for all that settling down stuff, and it is here and I will be another year older in a few months. I’m glad you can remind yourself not to rush into it.

    Marriage has sadly become more about the wedding day than the lifetime partnership of a marriage. It’s a relief to hear someone say, “I AM ONLY GOING TO GET MARRIED ONCE! ONCE!” You don’t hear many people come out and say that any more these days.

  8. gincoolette
    February 17, 2013 at 9:18 pm #

    Ok you are young- enjoy your life!! But I wonder if it s difficult to find serious bf material in Los Angeles-


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