Ask XY: Ladies & the First Move

How do you feel about ladies making the first moves? Can it be too aggressive?

Mr. U – I’ve had it work both ways.  I’m sure its not that different for us than it is girls.  We give signals too!  If the green light is on, it’s go time.  You probably shouldn’t just tackle a guy and plant a big drunk kiss on him while he is mid-sentence, though.  

Mr. V – I’m perfectly ok with girls making the first move.  It’s hard for anyone to throw themselves out there, so why should it always be the guy risking rejection.   It’s also a little thrilling to know that someone out there likes you enough to risk rejection.  

Mr. W – If the girl asks to hang out, or maybe even initiates the first bit of physical contact it can be refreshing.  If she leaves a bunch of stuff at your place and talks about how your family photos “make her wish we had a family” time to switch phone numbers.

Mr. X – Since I’m married, it’d be extremely aggressive for a woman to make any sort of move, but assuming I was single again, I’m all for it. Sometime a guy isn’t sure if a woman is interested, “signals” being something that aren’t universal. Let that be another lesson to everyone: human behavior, on the whole, always has more than one interpretation, especially when it comes to dating. Maybe you looked at me because you’re interested. Or maybe you were looking at the dude beside me. Maybe you look like you’re having fun with your friends and are unapproachable. Maybe you’re sitting alone, but you really don’t want to be bothered. There’s no one right way to do the dating thing. You have to do what’s comfortable for you. If that means walking up to a guy you like and telling him you like his wiggle, that’s okay by me. One final tidbit: there are a great many men out there, myself included, who get sick and tired of having to make the first move all the time. Many men don’t like to make the first move at all, for whatever reason. The bottom line is don’t be afraid to go for what you think you want, within the normal bounds of human behavior and law. No molesting the tasty morsel of manliness because you just have to have him, because jail time isn’t worth it.

Mr. Y – If we’re both into each other it’s fine, nothing is more awkward than having to back away from a kiss. Once on a date I had a woman kiss me and then pull off my pants, that was really hot and I’ll never forget it. 

Mr. Z  – Ladies making the first move, especially when I am interested in them, is one of the sexiest things they can do. It shows interest, willingness, daringness, and sexiness all in one move. I hope it is the same feeling for a women when a guy does the same thing. It obviously is a really scary moment, and most of the time there is no return from that moment. So for a women to show some guts is an amazing thing and should be celebrated. I suppose the act itself, whether preformed by the man or women, should be celebrated!

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One Comment on “Ask XY: Ladies & the First Move”

  1. August 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

    As a lesbian, there’s nothing but women making the first move. Personally, I think that men need to stop being intimidated by strong woman, because strong women can help and support their goals. What’s good for the individual (male or female) in a relationship, is good for the relationship.

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