Ask XY – Cheaters

Once a cheater always a cheater? What’s your take?

Mr. U – As someone who has been cheated on, it really sucks. I would steer clear from a cheater, especially one that has done it recently. If someone cheated when they were 18 or something, whatever. You gotta go case by case, but its something that will NEVER help a womans or mans case. I have personally never cheated. I have never seen the need to. If you like someone enough to be faithful to them, then why the hell would you go elsewhere?

Mr. V – Cheating is bad and kills the relationship for me, but I don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater.

Mr. W – Cheating is the ultimate no-no. I wouldn’t go so far as to say “once a cheater, always a cheater”, but I, personally, would find it very, very difficult to trust that person again. From observing the relationships of others, once one person has cheated, the relationship is ultimately doomed. It’s just human nature to distrust and hold a grudge after something like that and I’m not sure that’s not the evolutionary response we should have.

Mr. X – Yeah, that’s a deal breaker. It’s not that a cheater might cheat again, it’s that the seed of doubt is in my mind that you have in the past. It’s hard to make that go away. Not saying you should lie about it, but if you’ve cheated, we’re probably not going to mesh in the relationship department.

Mr. Y – I don’t think it really works that way. I know people who are consummate cheaters, but I also know at least one couple who started because the girl cheated with the guy…they got married and are one of the strongest couples I know. I am not going to completely rule out a relationship with someone because they cheated in the past. Not everyone feels that same way I do though.

Mr. Z –I’m glad that I was cheated on at a younger age. My hormone driven emotions that drove me to be so into this girl also made me feel the worst I’ve ever felt in my whole life. I know I could never do that to another person. Maybe if I didn’t go through that, I wouldn’t have that mentality. If that experience could have an impact, maybe a similar experience could change someone who has cheated before.

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Categories: Ask XY, Q & A, Welcome!


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